


together

by cautiouslyclarke (Rollythejoger)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollythejoger/pseuds/cautiouslyclarke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Together \to-ˈge-thər\ (adverb):<br/>1. with each other<br/>2. in a close relationship</p><p>Canon-Divergence drabble from the S2 finale</p>
            </blockquote>





	together

**Author's Note:**

> Characters and some dialogue taken from season 2 episode 16 of the 100.

“May we meet again,” Clarke murmurs against Bellamy’s shoulder, pressing her face against the warmth of him, breathing in his scent. 

 

It's too much, suddenly, and she has to step away from his embrace before she can change her mind. She looks at him, battle worn and bruised, and she can feel her guilt rising.

 

 _She_ did that.

 

His eyes flicker over her face, and she realizes with a start that he's looking at her like he's trying to memorize her face because he doesn't know when he'll see her again. The realization is sobering, and it's all she can do to meet his eyes for one last moment before forcing herself to walk towards the woods. God, she's so close to changing her mind, to letting him wrap her up in his arms and pull her into those gates.

 

But she doesn't change her mind.

 

Clarke can hear her pulse, a steady thrum in her ears. Her heartbeat is fast, pounding even, gaining speed with each step she takes away from the camp.

 

Each step a little further from her friends.

 

From _Bellamy._

 

I bear it so they don’t have to, she reminds herself.

 

So they don’t have to, with each step.

 

So they don’t have to, another stride further away.

 

She thinks of Octavia; her overwhelming curiosity when they first landed, her stubborn defense of Lincoln before anyone else could see the good in him, her determination to become the warrior she's clearly meant to be.

 

She thinks of Monty; his ingenuity and his optimism, the way he refused to give up on Jasper after he got speared, so long ago on that very first day, even when his death seemed inevitable. His pained reluctance in Mount Weather, as he set up the radiation flush that enabled her and Bellamy to kill over 300 people.

 

She quickly shakes those thoughts away.

 

She thinks of Raven; the fierce girl who had saved them all, time and time again, who loves others so fiercely and intensely, even though she herself never had the love she deserved growing up. She thinks of her strength, her will to live that was stronger than even than the bullet that lodged itself into her spine.

 

She thinks of Jasper; and remembers the way he looked at her after she pulled that lever, so different from the affection that he used to show her.

 

She remembers the way her father smelled.

 

She remembers the face of Wells, relaxed in death.

 

She remembers what it was like to hold Finn as he died, feeling his final breaths on her neck. 

 

_How many more of the people I love will I lose? How many more deaths will I be responsible for if I stay?_

 

Clarke swallows back a sob and continues forward into the forest, trying to clear her mind of anything but her steps as she takes them.

 

Left.

 

Right.

 

Left.

 

The thoughts of Bellamy come unbidden. 

 

“Together,” he’d said.

 

“What _we_ did,” he’d insisted.

 

“ _Please_ come inside,” he’d pleaded.

 

Her foot catches on a wayward root and she falls into a crumpled heap on the floor of the forest, trying to push thoughts of "together" away.

 

Clarke thinks of Bellamy’s hand on hers, steady and reassuring, as he brought their joined hands down on the lever.

 

She remembers the grip of his hand encircling her wrist, all those months ago, when she fell into the grounder trap trying to rescue Jasper.

 

She recalls the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, so tight she could barely breathe, when they were finally reunited at Camp Jaha after the grounder attack at the dropship, and the gentle pressure of his hand on her back in the supply depot as he taught her how to use a gun.

 

“Ready to be a badass, Clarke?” He'd teased, his voice like gravel.

 

Tears pricking at her eyes, she pulls herself off the ground and leans on the nearest tree, breathing deeply. Her fingers press roughly against her face, wiping away the tracks of unwanted tears. 

 

Her mind takes her back to what happened later that night, to the rough bark of the tree against her back as she caught her breath, Bellamy beside her, and Dax lying dead at their feet.

 

“You want forgiveness? Fine, I’ll give it to you- you’re forgiven, okay? But you can’t run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me. You have to face it.”

 

Her mind goes, unbidden, to the desperate clutch of his hands on her arms just minutes ago.

 

“If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you. You’re forgiven.” He'd said, repeating the words she had spoken to him weeks earlier.

 

Oh, she thinks.

 

_Oh._

 

It all becomes clear to her then- what he was saying at the gates. What _we_ did. Together.

 

_Together._

 

Clarke feels her breath catch in her throat as she turns around and faces towards the shining gleam of the arc.

 

And she runs home.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on [ tumblr](http://cautiouslyclarke.tumblr.com/)


End file.
